Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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