its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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