remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
