but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
