Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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