5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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