Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
accomplished twins. life is a go
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
