I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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