I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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