the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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