You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
