Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
