drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
