i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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