god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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