I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
