If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
