I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
