so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm too high and old for this...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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