can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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