People in love make me want to vomit
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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