sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Will you blow on my dice?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
