Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
