Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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