I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
