Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
