I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
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Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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