and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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