Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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