Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
