explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize