I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
