she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
