I want to stick my p in your. b.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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