It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
