Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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