i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
