question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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