yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
