well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
