I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
its liver damage thursday
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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