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all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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