he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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