I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
