If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The uberlube is also flammable
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
