Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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