i barfeds in our rink
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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