well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Someone signed my nipple.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
