she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You pole danced in your parka.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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