Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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