lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Boobs are out for the taking
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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