Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
