i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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