thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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