I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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