Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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