Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
