My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
