I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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